Last quarter in my clown class, we all had to complete a "self-expanding" exercise, or a project that would extend over a number of weeks in which we would engage in some activity that challenged our normal behavior or perspective on the world. For my project, I had to initiate conversation with 10 people I admired. I absolutely cannot talk to people who I admire, but the project went very well; I talked to nearly everyone on the list I could and I even had some really rewarding conversations.

This summer in my clown class, there are not only undergraduate students, but a number of actual artists, grad students pursuing MFA's in directing and such, and actors (one of whom I recognized from a show I've seen and nearly went blind when I saw them walk through the door) who are taking the class, even though it's technically just an undergrad course. Half the class is people I admire.

Apparently I still cannot talk to people I admire.

Apparently I cannot speak intelligently about Brecht in front of people I admire.

Apparently... I need to change some serious shit about myself for the next three weeks.