"Got a Number of Irrational Fears"

Pet phobias:

Mutaviaphobia
(The fear of evil and invisible Honda Accords inhabiting the blind spot into which one is changing lanes)

Toxivictaphobia
(The fear that one is allergic/may one day become allergic to shellfish)

Praestoqeueaphobia
(The fear of ordering food in the front of a very long impatient line)

Malapostaphobia
(The fear that one has just misaddressed a love letter, money order, or crude postcard and sent it to the parents of one's girlfriend. Appears immediately upon dropping a piece of mail into a mailbox)

Magisteraphobia
(The fear of professors)

Incurvophobia
(The fear that crooked picture frames on walls may have been moved by hobgoblins, or a walrus wearing sunglasses)

Mortavendaphobia
(The fear that cashiers at Cinnabon may have once been zombies)

Deocalvaphobia
(The fear that God is bald)