On our continuing mission to demystify Hyde Park, Rita and I embarked on an expedition north of 55th street on this beautiful morning. Armed only with a grande Egg Nog Latte and a penchant for socio-economic profiling, we saw all the mansions we can one day afford with our humanities degrees, including Louis Farrakhan's house, which convinced us that Hyde Park is really really ridiculously wealthy and all the muggings that take place here are just a neighborhood ploy to frighten the snot-nosed UC students back inside their dorms. Every time I venture outside campus, I realize how I like everything about Hyde Park except for the University of Chicago.
I've also changed my stance on my dorm; I used to be a Max Palevsky apologist, but that's all over now. I see why people hate it so much; it really has no character at all, unless you like hanging around Masshole Ivy-rejects. Yes, sheltered is the nom-de-choice.
[At this point, the Christmas radio station has started playing the David Bowie-Bing Crosby rendition of "Little Drummer Boy," which always makes me pine for an entire box set of David Bowie-Bing Crosby collaborations. Ah, what could have been.]
Everybody's going back home today except for me; why don't I just skip tomorrow's classes? I suppose, realistically, that's wasting about $300 of my tuition for what is, essentially, two lectures I will spend doodling and a discussion about conquistadors that will devolve into another debate about the validity of the New Testament.
In other news, private school is a waste of money. In the future, I'm giving my kids a reading list and sending them to live at Disney World for 4 years.
My Rolling Stone came yesterday with their list of the 500 Greatest Albums of All Time, which was disappointing because the little blurbs that accompanied each album were mere rehashings of everything you've ever watched on VH1. Anyway, after you own 500 albums, don't you own every piece of music that's worth listening to? At least they put Sgt. Pepper as the #1 album. No, it is not Loaded by the Velvet Underground or The Stone Roses so I think you should just shut up before you even start and get a job.
I've also changed my stance on my dorm; I used to be a Max Palevsky apologist, but that's all over now. I see why people hate it so much; it really has no character at all, unless you like hanging around Masshole Ivy-rejects. Yes, sheltered is the nom-de-choice.
[At this point, the Christmas radio station has started playing the David Bowie-Bing Crosby rendition of "Little Drummer Boy," which always makes me pine for an entire box set of David Bowie-Bing Crosby collaborations. Ah, what could have been.]
Everybody's going back home today except for me; why don't I just skip tomorrow's classes? I suppose, realistically, that's wasting about $300 of my tuition for what is, essentially, two lectures I will spend doodling and a discussion about conquistadors that will devolve into another debate about the validity of the New Testament.
In other news, private school is a waste of money. In the future, I'm giving my kids a reading list and sending them to live at Disney World for 4 years.
My Rolling Stone came yesterday with their list of the 500 Greatest Albums of All Time, which was disappointing because the little blurbs that accompanied each album were mere rehashings of everything you've ever watched on VH1. Anyway, after you own 500 albums, don't you own every piece of music that's worth listening to? At least they put Sgt. Pepper as the #1 album. No, it is not Loaded by the Velvet Underground or The Stone Roses so I think you should just shut up before you even start and get a job.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home