Listening to "Konstantine," "Brick." Why? Because it's sentimental nostalgic drivel, and God, I love it.
So, Black Comedy is over, along with most of our careers on the Milton stage.
I wish I could feel the same kind of emotion as veterans like Michelle, but my reaction isn't bittersweet closure but "What the hell? It's over? I just started!"
Why, why, why didn't I get into drama earlier? Why did I waste two years in student government, cross-country, literary magazine? I've always prided myself on being an activity-jumper, an eclectic extracurricular participant, but gosh, what a load. I've never been involved in anything that I love so much as theater, and I've never felt so great as after I finish one of these shows. Why didn't one of you people talk some sense into me? Aniele, WHERE WERE YOU 3 YEARS AGO?
~sigh... I've caught the unrequited germ of regret once again. My only consolation is that I'll do theater in college, but, god damnit, I want to do theater with you people. Fuck college. I want a do-over on high school to do things right for once. I don't want to get to college, stumble around for 3 years, and not find my niche until it's too late.
Fuck! I spent a lot of time walking back and forth through the school hallways today after the show. I love the school when it's empty. During the schoolday, everything feels cramped, crowded, cynical, suspicious, tense, but after the students and faculty leave, when you have the school to yourself.... it feels so much more friendly. That is really what this school has become for me: a friend. I know every dusty corner of this school, and I might get tired of it sometimes, but dammit, it's home. I've accomplished a lot of things in this school, I've put in the extra hours, I've walked the hallways at midnight, I've sweated, studied, cried, laughed, won, lost at Milton. It is far more of my home than my house is, because high school, no matter how restrictive, is still the closest I come to the outside world. I don't feel like I need to apologize for wanting to become a high school teacher... I love high school. No matter how much they'll treat you like an asshole, it's worth every minute. It's worth it because of the possiblities those empty hallways offer. I thought I'd exhausted Milton at the end of last year, I had no fucking concept of the possibilities this year would give me. Dammit! I have it figured out now! Why am I being kicked out?? I don't want to start over. I have everything I need. I know this is a bit premature before graduation, I know this is probably cowardice in the face of change, and mostly it's the child of regret, but hell, I told myself I'd give my emotions a little slack this year, and this is how I feel right now.
Theater. Kristen. Milton. Why is it being wrest from my hands? Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.
So, Black Comedy is over, along with most of our careers on the Milton stage.
I wish I could feel the same kind of emotion as veterans like Michelle, but my reaction isn't bittersweet closure but "What the hell? It's over? I just started!"
Why, why, why didn't I get into drama earlier? Why did I waste two years in student government, cross-country, literary magazine? I've always prided myself on being an activity-jumper, an eclectic extracurricular participant, but gosh, what a load. I've never been involved in anything that I love so much as theater, and I've never felt so great as after I finish one of these shows. Why didn't one of you people talk some sense into me? Aniele, WHERE WERE YOU 3 YEARS AGO?
~sigh... I've caught the unrequited germ of regret once again. My only consolation is that I'll do theater in college, but, god damnit, I want to do theater with you people. Fuck college. I want a do-over on high school to do things right for once. I don't want to get to college, stumble around for 3 years, and not find my niche until it's too late.
Fuck! I spent a lot of time walking back and forth through the school hallways today after the show. I love the school when it's empty. During the schoolday, everything feels cramped, crowded, cynical, suspicious, tense, but after the students and faculty leave, when you have the school to yourself.... it feels so much more friendly. That is really what this school has become for me: a friend. I know every dusty corner of this school, and I might get tired of it sometimes, but dammit, it's home. I've accomplished a lot of things in this school, I've put in the extra hours, I've walked the hallways at midnight, I've sweated, studied, cried, laughed, won, lost at Milton. It is far more of my home than my house is, because high school, no matter how restrictive, is still the closest I come to the outside world. I don't feel like I need to apologize for wanting to become a high school teacher... I love high school. No matter how much they'll treat you like an asshole, it's worth every minute. It's worth it because of the possiblities those empty hallways offer. I thought I'd exhausted Milton at the end of last year, I had no fucking concept of the possibilities this year would give me. Dammit! I have it figured out now! Why am I being kicked out?? I don't want to start over. I have everything I need. I know this is a bit premature before graduation, I know this is probably cowardice in the face of change, and mostly it's the child of regret, but hell, I told myself I'd give my emotions a little slack this year, and this is how I feel right now.
Theater. Kristen. Milton. Why is it being wrest from my hands? Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.
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