Key Rules and Tips for Driving After Curfew
If you find yourself driving home late after midnight, follow these simple guidelines for preventing yourself from getting caught by the police or parents:
1. Paranoia is your best friend.
2. Turn the radio to NPR classical music. Your driving skills at this point need to be at their best, and classical music can help you reach your utmost abilities.
3. Drive at an incredibly low speed. But not too slow; Drive casually.
4. Come to a complete stop at a stop sign, even when you're in the middle of nowhere and there isn't a car in sight. You never know when there's a squad car waiting in the bush to revoke your precious provisional license.
5. When you see one of your good buddies from 9th grade pol sci out walking the line beside the road under the inspection of a cop, drive by laughing hysterically, but don't speed by unless you're sure the officer can't get back in his car on time.
6. As you get closer to home, don't get cocky; there are plenty of squad cars patrolling the neighborhoods. Remember rule 1.
7. When you get home at 12:30, breathe a sigh of relief. But it's not over yet.
8. If your parents are like mine, then they're asleep already, but they still want you to let them know when they're home. Luckily, when you wake them, they're usually too groggy to notice the time on the clock.
9. If they're awake and waiting in the kitchen when you get home, shout some exasperated comment as you walk in the door like "BOY was the traffic bad TONIGHT" or "MAN, I HATE flat tires."
Of course, all these rules will be erroneous in two weeks when i get my full license!!!!
If you find yourself driving home late after midnight, follow these simple guidelines for preventing yourself from getting caught by the police or parents:
1. Paranoia is your best friend.
2. Turn the radio to NPR classical music. Your driving skills at this point need to be at their best, and classical music can help you reach your utmost abilities.
3. Drive at an incredibly low speed. But not too slow; Drive casually.
4. Come to a complete stop at a stop sign, even when you're in the middle of nowhere and there isn't a car in sight. You never know when there's a squad car waiting in the bush to revoke your precious provisional license.
5. When you see one of your good buddies from 9th grade pol sci out walking the line beside the road under the inspection of a cop, drive by laughing hysterically, but don't speed by unless you're sure the officer can't get back in his car on time.
6. As you get closer to home, don't get cocky; there are plenty of squad cars patrolling the neighborhoods. Remember rule 1.
7. When you get home at 12:30, breathe a sigh of relief. But it's not over yet.
8. If your parents are like mine, then they're asleep already, but they still want you to let them know when they're home. Luckily, when you wake them, they're usually too groggy to notice the time on the clock.
9. If they're awake and waiting in the kitchen when you get home, shout some exasperated comment as you walk in the door like "BOY was the traffic bad TONIGHT" or "MAN, I HATE flat tires."
Of course, all these rules will be erroneous in two weeks when i get my full license!!!!
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